So since January....I got fired from Alaska for talking to HR about my issues. I probably should have painted my self in a better regard when emailing them. Anyway it was so good. A few months after plus some mourning I got a car, moved in with 4 other guys and started working full time. Started liking a girl who kind of wrecked my world view on who I had to be to get married. Over the past month I have been really working on myself in many ways to prepare myself for a healthier life. It's been great yet painful, confusing yet enlightening, healing yet sickening.
Currently just feeling lame. Time is going by....I am turning 31 soon. Work....ugh just seems dull. I am coming out of the dopamine lifestyle I had been living, so perhaps I need more time. I have defiantly awakened part of myself to wanting affection both physically and emotionally. It's pretty horrible. The plus is I now am having to choose God over my needs since He knows better than I. Mom has been super helpful during this season, not sure why she suddenly reached out and is making time. Listening to God has been challenging yet good since He is speaking truth. He said some things about games and stuff so I still have things to do in many regards.
I guess my solution is just to continue with life and time. Find little joys and ways to prepare for distribution of Bibles. I have a bunch of refreshing to do. Asher has been encouraging me to go by myself and I reach out to ywam in person now that I own a car. Anyway heading home from being with my mom tonight so hopefully some good things happen to share.
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