Well emotional strength is something I seem to have avoided all my life. Heavily dependent on gaming as an escape. I want to blame my parents for not raising me perfectly yet I know I will make so many mistakes if I were to raise kids. I then shift to how I have wasted years avoiding issues and blame myself. Instead I will choose to see reality and face the pain of strengthening emotional muscles.
Some of the ways raising emotionally strong boys talked about was using journaling, picking emotions. avoid anchoring which is dumping your emotions on another person, I pretty much exclusively use people as sounding boards which causes fear every time someone isn’t immoderately present.
This is probably the most painful season of my life, even more than the Marines when I cried for over 10 minutes at the first church simply because of the commitment and obedience. I am so grateful for the ability to mature. I am grateful for hope and knowing that God cares for me. There is such peace in knowing I can move to shalom.
The tough part is doing things I don't like. My job has things I don't enjoy. Even starting school has many things I don't like. Waiting on marriage is painful, which is surprising that I escaped those desires completely through gaming and addiction. Living in a home or state I don't prefer has been continually frustrating. Saying things I don't want to say, which are healthy to say. Making choices to manage emotions isn't fun either, taking responsibility for how I feel and making wise decisions on how to communicate those is such a great distance.
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