Week 3 of DTS

10/12

First day of serious anger. Definitely in the middle of it still. We have to do a structured bible study every morning. Mandatory. I feel God saying it will be okay because I should be spending time with Him in the evenings. In the meeting they asked us to be vulnerable and then at the end said do it, so what was the point I am not here to pay to be test subjects, we are here for God to use us. I hope God works through the leadership to resolve what He desires. Just leaders in general seem to be power hungry or not understanding. Our house they didn’t explain why they got better chores, and seemed very willing to talk about how not willing to tolerate things they had been doing. Also the second years seem to think we should recognize them as authoritative. We need humble leadership they way Jesus would lead. Loving leaders, good leaders. “Pray for all people, Kings especially…”

They laughed at me possibly because I changed my mind. At first I said it was good the journal thing and then as the conversation went on I brought up all the negatives. It is funny the fact that I would give a testimony to how good it is, then switch and say we shouldn’t.

10/14

Went to the trampoline zone and got to spend time with people. I have a book report due tonight. My mom is watching the barefoot video by Cunningham so I hope the Holy Spirit works through that. I am nervous about the relationship with one girl who seems to be looking at me. I hope it’s just her character since she seems super fun.

I tried to sleep out in the hammock tonight at about 2am yet as I crawled in I felt overwhelming dread. I am inside and going to brush my teeth since I forgot. I will pray first and then brush and definitely just sleep in the main bed I think. I am praying for protection over the Destiny house, the ranch homes, the Sesna house, Nate and sams house and anyone else who doesn’t live in those homes that they would just be protected tonight. Also one staff member was roaming tonight pretty late so I pray for angels to protect him from harm or spiritual darkness. I pray that you would renew ywam tomorrow as the day...um so tired. Brushing now I remember after praying+tongues. Our leader warned us about Spiritual attacks to stop us from this week(openness and brokenness). I pray that we will open ourselves up to the Lord Jesus and be willing to confess sins to one another.

I had a phone call with my mother today. She told me about a skin disease that could be lethal. I pray God is glorified through the experience that her faith would increase from whatever God does. She also went through a flood in the hotel where she works so I pray for that situation that your will would be done and somehow you could be glorified from that.

10/15

So tired yet somehow energized. I think God is keeping me awake.

10/16

I tried “falling in love with God” this morning by reading Song of Solomon since I was told it’s a good idea. I don’t think that book is meant for men to fall in love with Jesus. Unless I am supposed to be the guy. I think reading books like Ezekiel and seeing the power of God is so much more beautiful to me.

I was kind of falling asleep today in class so I am going to bed at like 8:30.

10/19

Alright falling behind on my book again! Got cooking duty this weekend, so I made bread. I hope the bread turns out and that somehow it glorifies God. Not sure why yet I probably am driving 6 hours to help someone get their phone repaired, on the Saturday sabbath. :( I haven’t been able to play frisbee once here which is why I am sad. I got to get to bed, it’s almost 10:30. I am getting to know the students better which is nice. Yesterday was the end of our openness teaching and felt like I heard God even if it took discernment, He really spoke truth I wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Specifically life is a lie, I can’t hear God, and we always resort to darkness. Those lies were replaced with knowing God cares for the world He made, knowing that He can speak crazy cool, and that I am a new creation through Christ.

The journals aren’t mandatory anymore many students didn’t like them, so I am glad the leadership listened to the students hopefully this will work out. Anyway imma take a shower and head to bed. Hope we all continue Pursuing God exponentially! I hope to continue and grow in time spent praying.